Britney Spears “uncoverage” coverage: Day 2

The boom keeps on rolling.

The Internet is HOT for Britney Spears crotch information (and anything from the Britney-Paris Hilton-Lindsay Lohan “axis of evil” troika).

So let’s dive in with a quick roundup of what’s been written lately:

WE KNEW AND DID NOTHING!: KeepMedia published a story from Chuck Klosterman back on Nov. 1 about Britney and her nakedness in Esquire magazine.

Ironic how this story sets up Britney’s latest four-time flash-fest, and how the writer completely sees the coming Britney re-invention efforts:

This is a hard detail to ignore because the men who have seen a pantless Britney belong to a highly select fraternity: It’s Justin Timberlake, her gynecologist, the photographer who’s doing this particular photo shoot, and (maybe) the frontman for a third-rate rap-metal band from Jacksonville, Florida. That’s more or less everybody.

And—perhaps stupidly—I actually thought I was about to rush this semipathetic frat; I honestly believed the reason I was invited to this photo shoot was to glimpse Britney’s secret garden and write about its cultural significance. Somehow, that seemed like the only logical explanation as to why her naked ass was being unleashed on the cover of this magazine; this whole affair must be an aggressive, self-conscious reinvention.

I mean, why else would they have invited the writer to the shoot? Why else would Spears have just released the “news” that she lost her virginity at the age of eighteen (a story that surfaced only twenty-four hours before this very photo session)? Isn’t this how the modern media operates? Isn’t everything wholly overt?

OBJECTION!: Fox News talked to some divorce lawyers, who say that Britney’s latest flaunting of private parts could come back to haunt her in a custody battle with her ex-husband Kevin Federline (or K-Fed, as he’s know in the ‘hood).

I don’t know what will hurt Britney most, the nudie pics, or the sex tell-all book that K-Fed is suspected to be shopping around?

PARTY LIKE IT’S 2007: Britney’s allegedly booked the Pure Nightclub at Caesars Palace hotel and casino in Las Vegas for a private New Years’ Eve gala (pants optional?). This according to the entertainment giant news source, China Daily.

CLEAN FUN?: The Toronto Star is running a Canadian Press hard-hitting report on Britney’s pelvic area, examining the … no, not kidding … the health risks associated with going pantless, including … again, not kidding … second-hand (or, ummm…second crotch?) health risks!